transformation
[trans-fer-mey-shuhn] - noun
1. the act or process of transforming.
2. the state of being transformed.
3. change in form, appearance, nature, or character.
4. Theater . a seemingly miraculous change in the appearance of scenery or actors in view of the audience.

I started documenting my journey in the hoop last September through a series of webcam videos, some of which I have shared on sites like YouTube, but most of which I have never even watched myself. The habitual act of hitting record on my laptop each time I picked up the hoop at home drew a loving sort of teasing from some of my fellow hoopers and certainly from my partner and son who have had to endure the flashing red light everyday for over a year.

I didn’t have a goal the first time I pushed record and I never thought of doing anything with the videos (besides, again, sharing the occasional one on YouTube). Recording myself helped me learn new moves (like isolations) and helped confirm I was doing something correctly or at least was able to correct when something didn’t look quite right.

Earlier this week I was scrolling through the now 1,451 files and decided to watch the very first recording (which is the first video clip in this video).

I sat back, in shock, and tried to understand what I was watching. Who was this girl? She felt like an absolute stranger—- It was in that moment that I realized I had documented possibly the most transformative year of my life… my first year as a mother… the first year of living in our current home… the end of one career and the beginning of another… and of course my first year of really connecting and really falling hopelessly in love with the little plastic circle we call a ‘hula hoop’

I’ve spent the past week watching some of the 1400+ videos… Selected at random, each video transported me back to that time and place… I remembered what my son had done that day, sometimes what I’d cooked for dinner that night, but always I remembered what had driven me into the hoop that day… Stress reliever, to meditate, trying to finally “get” that one trick, fear I was losing who I was within motherhood, love, heartache, peace. Each day and reason different… but each was working towards getting me to the place I am today.

If someone told me that the past twelve months had actually been twelve years, I really could honestly believe them. So much has happened in my life. So many doors have opened, so many footsteps have been taken on so many newly forged paths. This year has been amazing, important, and incredibly special. I am so thankful to have my transformation documented and I look forward to the moment the girl at the end of this video feels like a stranger.

I hope to never stop transforming.

So its been a couple days since I hooped my 6K race and I’ve had a little bit of time to digest all the unexpected emotions participating gave me.

I completed the race in 1 hour and 9 minutes, without a single hoop drop. I attracted a lot of attention from those participating in the race and those observing.It was a lot of fun chatting with such a variety of people along the route. It was fun sharing my joys of hooping with them, it was fun encouraging each person that was amazed I was walking and hoopingat the same timeby letting them know, with a little practice they could do this too.

But my fun, chattiness ended about 2/3 into the race. I felt myself turn inward. I wondered about my hoop journey, the places its taken me, and pondered where and why this race fit in.

I saw the 5km marker come and go past me and with it seemed to go my energy. I was close, but suddenly I felt sore and tired… and the feelings in each muscle I was using started to take over my thoughts. Maybe I’d gone far enough, everyone would understand if I didn’t hoop the last kilometer right?

It was about that time that the river trail opened up and I could see beautiful downtown Napa. I could see the finish line. I could see everyone that was waiting and cheering as participants crossed the line.

I remembered I had people waiting just for me too. My little 14 month old was there, somewhere in that crowd, waiting for mama to cross the finish line.

Suddenly I realized exactly where this race fit into my hoop journey. The wheres and whys fell into place. Yes, this race was for a cause I whole heartedly support, but I could have easily walked or jogged the route to show my support. Adding the challenge of the hoop was for more than the cause, and tears welled in my eyes as I realized it was for more than myself too.

I hooped the race… I challenged myself… for Pax. 

I want him to grow up knowing that he can accomplish anything he sets his mind too. I want him to dream the biggest possible dreams and know that he can turn those dreams into plans… I want him to know he can be whatever he wants to be… I want him to know he can do whatever makes him Happy

And I want him to know these things because he saw his mama do exactly that.

That last kilometer seemed to last forever, and took me on an emotional roller coaster the whole way, but my energy returned ten-fold and all the little complaints my muscles had previously given me were silenced. 

I’ll never forget seeing my hubby and Pax waving at me by the finish line or how Pax wrapped his arms around my neck when I finished. His embrace was absolutely the best award I could have received.

A huge thank you for everyone who supported me in taking on this challenge. I so appreciate all the donations. We donated $270 to COPE Family Center http://www.copefamilycenter.org/ and all took part in creating safe homes for children in Napa.

Partner hooping with Moodhoops LEDs

Hooping with my Moodhoop LED and tutu

Nine minutes of flow

August 30/30 challenge day 21